# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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