You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm passing your future prison.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
