Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
