I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize