...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
