I wanna passion pit in your ass
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
