I have demons in me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
