If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
