i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
