so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
