i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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