she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
