i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
