Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
