I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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