Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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