i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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