forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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