I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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