tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
