mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
