So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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