Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
