Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
