I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
