i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
