yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize