im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize