Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
