I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My vagina is very pro this idea
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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