I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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