I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
