So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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