My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
