You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
