I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
