Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
