i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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