I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
