She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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