it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize