Kiss
Puke
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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