yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
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