my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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