..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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