Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
