woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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