Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize