i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize