Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
