I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
