What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
