if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
