Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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