We're facebook friends in real life
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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