we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
