weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
